That this world was made for us humans to use as we wish,that it is only six thousand years old,that god is male,well lately there is a whole list of stuff I am having trouble believing......just watch the political debates..lol.or cry,700 billion?How many people live in the USA?How much of a stimulus check would that be?I have trouble believing that as one of species on the planet we can cause so much trouble...I have to wonder about this promise of change,it seems that all politicians work for the same Boss...(won't get fooled again)...So the most difficult thing to believe is that THIS is the way,the truth and the light....somewhere deep inside me flickers hope that natures way will win ......
Who-man?......Woe-man...Its amazing to me that we feel exceptionaly different.After-all what do we really know about the language of animals or the secret life of plants??We so engrandise the Human aspects..look around what are we doing to this planet?What are we doing to ourselves?What are we doing here?...........It sure looks like we are out of place on this beautiful blue planet,what makes us human?? Well,we pollute the rivers and oceans,we pollute the sky,we make billions of tons of trash,we cut down the lungs of the earth,and at the rate we are doing it..wheee........Or...here we are humans,spiritual,full of gratitude and awareness,harmonising amongst each other..lets hope that being Human is the ability to wake up to the new world.....connectivity of all things,we are not separate,we only look different.
This has me thinking,because I live in a VERY private world most of the time,but I open up some of my inner thoughts and feelings in blogs....So is the privacy in the physical sense,and I just love being in this forest and observing the dance and occaisionaly jumping in....then just as I say that,I get this feeling ...no,I am totally in it,It is such a part of me and I it that separation is not in the cards.Then there is Gaia...this beautiful cyberspace of incredible words and ideas and souls all connecting and expressing...where somehow I am still private and totally open at the same time..My relationship to privacy is variable,clients and friends visiting is always a pleasure...but then having it all to myself is precious,a time for deeper personal reflection..growth and discovery.....I would say that private personal time is invaluable for distraction free quality,being with oneself........
As waterheart,home for me is water,its where I find the deepest most pristine connection to source.I feel totally absorbed into the whole and realize the benevolence of the divine.What a relief it is to know there is no hellfire and brimstone waiting...only love,we are love and in the water it becomes very evident.In my work with clients the feedback is pretty much the same and bears witness to going back to the womb...and prior the womb,love and warmth,that clean unudulterated being,existing without programing.......to me it has an angelic feel to it and many times coming back to the gross world has left me in tears,I did not want it to end,clients have expressed the same.Loosing myself in the warm pool has become a major part of my life,and where I go is the adventure,even though I have travelled the roads and know them like old friends,new clients always create a little twist with their own personalities and suddenly we are floating down a new little side riffle with interesting swirls and eddies....Always something to learn,beautiful amazement,this watery world that I have come to know as home....ps,Missouri is the 3rd largest confluence of water in the world, behind the Amazon and Congo.So I am not suprised at myself for being in this watery space!
For some being fearless could border on being reckless,but then again it might only look reckless to the un-initiated,and the person in the action is focussed and confident and absolutly fearless.So for me to be fearless,it is usually something that I have been working on..and/or am training for in the physical sense of being fearless..ie surfing large waves,or riding bikes at high speed....Now on the spiritual level, or the mental level it seems to take on another dimension,I have not always had the opportunity to prepare and fear shows up in ways I never suspected.Fear can change you plans in a moment,move your thoughtforms and create havoc with your life.....and change your direction in life,leaving you wondering what happened.I would like to say as I am older and wiser fear is something that I have faced so many times that now I can deal with it..not so!I think that a certain amount of fear is good,but the silly stuff in our minds that we make up about an unknown..that is where I would like to become more fearless,I would like to be fearless in love..I am fearless in my work,as there is a huge amount of confidence in doing what I love so much..so being fearless is being confident..?..
Being in water...the subtle ways of water are not always easy to detect.Most of us put ourselves into water,splash around swim..or if it is warm,relax....Becoming one with the water is a gentle dance,a soft caress of the current against skin..or it can be a terrifying thrill as you wipe out on a 20ft wave and find the ocean floor in your face.....so many ways to experience this most precious of gifts.Slipping easy into the ultra hot,all the way to the neck and waiting for the bones to heat up,keeping deadly still,meditating on the intensity of the moment.Into the icy cold to the neck,and meditating into the freeze,icy lungs,return to the heat...a few rounds will make the mind spin into new realms.The sweet smell of the tea bath,tepid to warm,luxurious...floating away on olifactory wings..The river always changing,pockets of cold where springs are,and warm shallows in the sun.Sometimes brown and raging,then clear and talkative,I hear people talking for sure only to find a new riffle........The water of water is the warm pool where Waterjourneys take place,this last batch of 3000 gallons has been the longest batch ever and is still pristine in color and smells exceptionally sweet.I believe in the research of Masuro Emoto and know that this batch of water has become quite sacred.I feel it when I enter,it is highly charged with all the experiences that have happened in that body of water.All the thoughts that have happened,so many beautiful things,that is why I like to just sit in that pool .No sound only my heartbeat amplified.In the 98 degree water my skin is confused and I loose my boundary,becoming the water is now second nature,merging with the whole is easy what a relief to be absorbed into that sacred space.It was deep in that space that the water told me what importance it played on the planet.I cried for the water,said I was sorry for the way we humans identified with it..promised I would make space for the reverence of water in as many ways as I could..Waterjourneys came as a result of love and compassion for my higher self......water
The Fall,what was I thinking when I fell,was I paying attention?or was I daydreaming and on automatic pilot.....The Fall always brings me immediately into the present moment,and I fall everyday.Either a trip or stumble,or a beautiful vision that captures me,a sound,sometimes a reflection.I continually fall in love,even with the same person,just different situations,fall out of love...that sweet or sad moment when there is no control,it just is and how did it manifest?It is a free fall into the timeless and we only know what happened by the result.................
There was a time in my life when "go sees" and auditions were part of my daily life.There were also times when roles were landed,both on screen and in the theater...But it costs money to be an actor,unless of course you are lucky enough to make money at it...For me the sending out resume and headshot in an 8x10 manilla envelope to 20 or 30 productions a week and maybe getting 2 or 3 calls and maybe 1 call back .....maybe a part every couple of months....after 4 years I had had enough fun,stayed on with a dinner theatre group and did have fun....finally quit...........................The last time I acted was a suprise to me.It happened in the middle of a session with a client and came apon me like a possesive spirit.I was watching myself be this other being,intrigued,I let it flow on and watched my client closely.It was a magic moment,and was somehow perfect and yet it scared me to watch myself being so powerful.It really scared my client and brought a huge dose of adrenalin into her system...exactly what she needed,suddenly she was alive and very aware,and just as suddenly I was myself again,smiling and happy saying..."see I knew you had energy,can you feel it?................her eyes wide and shaking,she realised the new possibilities inside of herself....she felt it and smiled back,"you are crazy" ....Yes I know........in that moment I was......method acting
Balance......that place of inner connectedness to the omnipresent,that place of contented peace,pure stillness in balance.Is this a good place to hang?I like hanging in balance,feels good..........From another angle,the future of our fragile planet is slipping out of balance.The total disrespect being shown to water,trees,air,all other life forms except.......oh yeah,us HUMANS,thats right,its all here for us to use and abuse as we see fit because we are so grand and clever and can do so much......build indoor ski resorts in a desert...make islands in the ocean and build multi-million dollar houses on them..beat that!!...................I look around me in wonder,I live without TV or radio,the sounds of the river,the birds,butterflies,all the flowers...sunrises,sunsets,seasons..behold the beauty that already exists!.......I think whats hanging in the balance is our ability to wake-up !!
QaR
October 2008 
waterheart
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