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November 2009 
What questions have you been asking in your life recently?
Posted on Apr 10th, 2009
by 
waterheart
waterheart
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for April 10, 2009:
How do I syncronise the dance...how can we employ gratitude and compassion in relationship when fear is interFEARing. How do we manage to keep love unconditional..when apon inspection we find all these conditions on love,,,,..Keeping to the truth of the moment is not a simple task when fear is running rampant,old methods of coping seem comfortable and it is easy to curl up in bed and return to the safety of the womb.What about a good hard look at what is happening and being conciously courageous to want to make a change....letting go of old habits and embracing change..If we keep distracting ourselves we do lose the beat,and then mis-step the dance,stumble and loose our balance..fall off the path...loose our way...somehow the music stopped ...there is no dance....Within all this interFEARing ....can we see that interLOVEing might start a beat in the heart that sounds like music to the ears and the way to the dance is lit with the light from the stars in our eyes once again...lets dance by chance in trance..to the beat of our loving hearts....
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Like the interFEARing idea, will think of it next time I fall into the trap of thinking someone is interfering with my intentions or desires… Somewhere along the line I came to accept that unconditional love is for babies and children. Parents should love their little ones unconditionally, without being blind to correcting undesirable traits. Adults can't be expected to put up with other adults' irresponsible or cruel behavior. I feel mature love is conditional. It only flourishes where there is trust and accountability. On the other hand, loving someone is spite of their quirks is a wonderful thing - to embrace the whole of them, disappointments and all. I like the word picture you're painting, a dance lit with the light from the stars above in our eyes. It seems, especially in marriage or long-term relationships, since there is so much growth, that we fall in love with our mates over and over again, many times in a lifetime…
A lot of wisdom being shared here, as in a quiet corner (for now)! I really like the way you've said it all in two words : interFEAR changing to interLOVE!
Now I think that unconditional love is just impossible at the level of ego. The moment there's an I- and- You, there's already a barrier. BUT, there is also those endless reflections in the mirror of each other. So I like what you say, Barbara “that we fall in love with our mates over and over again, many times in a lifetime…”
If we're lucky, it's with one! [I'm near our 26th anniversary, can you tell?]
Happy approaching anniversary, Meenakshi! We're reaching our 34th in May… It doesn't seem possible!
It feels like we baked a cake ! Thank you Barbara and Meenakshi for putting in such fine ingredients. Barbara,with my own children,I love them the same and do not remove the love because of an undesirable trait,I dont love the trait and try to deal with it as a separate thing that is not in their interest to keep as it estranges them from me…if that makes sense……I love the falling in love again and again…its exactly what I was saying in my words with the Dance….Meenakshi..yes,the ego blocks the unconditional,and the you and me paradigm creates separation,so its the return to love,plain and simple that drops the ego and connects us under that umbrella of love to re-experience connection…the starlight in our eyes lighting the way to re-connection,dissolving separation…..26 and 34 years of soul connection..deep bows to both of you,and thak you for your reflections to make my vision clearer…………….love…………………Ralph
beautiful reflection on the balance between love & fear, thx Ralph.
-' let's dance by chance in a trance' lit up a lil star in my heart..
Tara,lovely to see you….and if I lit a lil star in your heart….I am happy to do so….lets dance !
Let's DANCE let's DANCE, Ralph.. and about the fear
I E M B R A C E YOU!!!
Being with somebody.. step by step.. we can share the fear… while expressing it.. it turns into love and trust…. as a woman i can tell you.. I see my male with fear.. I just want to hug him.. tell him that all is well… and his fragility reminds me to be assuring, caring, encouraging.. all the good things which come with love!
Namasté
AAAhhh, Silke if only all women could respond that way…some tend to withdraw and run if they sense fear in their man…your response would make me want to dance in the light of love…no agonising thought process..hugs to you and keep hugging that lucky man……….R