Right here on the land, in amongst the trees,with the birds and the squirrels.
When I am in the waters,hot or cold,when I am love and loved.....This piece of land is a garden and in this fequency of peace and quiet,and in my solitude.....I feel safe from all outside illusions/distractions/distortions.......

My LIFE............the twists and turns, the illusions and realities.
                         The love and disapointments,
                          The youth and the aging,
                         The awareness of my coming death,
                          The aliveness of this moment,
                          The love I feel in my heart...........
                          The water all around me and in me,
                          The resonance I have with my space,
                           The beat of my heart,the sweetness of breath,the kiss from each new day....and the ability to play...............

I cannot live without it..................and yet I spend most hours unaware of that fact.

A few good breaths,bring peace to my mind,
Sustained deep breathing brings concious awareness,and alters my thoughts.I am in myself and then outside myself,i become my breath,my breath becomes my world. The world becomes a cosmic timeless breath,and i wait blissfully lazy.....to inhale......peace........in breath.

Politics,TV,News......The Spin.....Thank GOD for the forest,and Nature,the Water....I send out deepest love and compassion for those who are addicted to TV.....and injest the fear and hatred, witness the killing,.................these things remove us from the truth,separate us from the beauty of creation and nature.....come back to the garden....it is waiting.........love...

This moment of tapping the keys and writing the   Power of Now  ,this present place,and that I co-create it within my environment,using my thoughts and actions.
     That at some point this physical body will set my spirit free.......
     That this beatiful planet is an incredible phenomina,and that WATER will be the most valuable thing on it....................love

The older I have become it seems the less I need.
 When all the young kids were here,I was last one asleep,and first awake in the morning.....I love sleep...deep,and sometimes cuddled.

Some dreams are good some disturbing...I try to notice it all.
Lately there are times when I feel that my reality is dreaming..I wake up where I am and wonder where I've been...........leaves me wondering.
Afternoon cat-naps are precious, shared they are the best.
My mind can mess with my sleep,I have been deeply asleep and woke up,started thinking and nver went back to sleep...damn.
That easy,peaceful float into....sleep..after making love...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

When I have lost myself in you...
When we are lost in everything....
When we are lost in the stillness....
when we are swooning in the opening of hearts
When there is no need to breathe...
When recognition is not a word.....
When it felt timeless,but lasted only a moment..........

I want not to want.

When Politicians believe that they are above the laws that govern the rest of us.

Physical pain,like almost cutting off a finger and having it stitched back put me in the present moment...right there..
 Emotional pain,the heartache....spins me all over the place,past,future...what, why?...confusion, this one is way more devastating......

Happiness feels like it wants to shared.
It has a tendancy to be elusive.
I love it when it shows up.
happiness elicits laughter. Laughter is good medicine.
A feeling inside,not one of those you can easily hide...its noticed,its infectous and can spread ...let it be out there,that joy,that love,that song in the heart....love love..this is for you......

As a traveller..I had a back-pack and sleeping bag. Meals were occaisonal. The idea of owning was strange.
To this day I realise that was a magic time....I would love that freedom again to be in life,unfettered. No fear,sooner or later we all lose it..........poof !

Smile,stay a while.
Relax,enjoy the space.
Appreciate this garden place.
Float in these pristine waters.
See the beauty in all the flowers.
Feel the bird song in your heart.
Smell the sweetness in the air.
Drink in this magic world of nature............

Tell me that you are coming back.

Interesting.....I watch it change like the weather. It is affected by praise or critisism.
I realise that it is not me,it is only my self-esteem, me ? I am the same,the divine in me is un-changing....eternal.

existance is creative,every nano second is a creation.
I am a creation,what helps me create ?  inspiration.
What inspires me ?  beauty,love,compassion......
Divine intervention..plays into my creating and takes out the ego.
Playing with the divine is the creation....
I lnvite the divine into all of me....co-create.

The natural world and my woods give me this blessed environment to appreciate what has already been created...and it is stunning,What an absolutely mind boggling world this is...All the creations that exist !!!!!!! Oh my God.....

Mindless gossip
Inauthentic babbling
That TV commercial....
Water in my ears..

She was dying,but there were days were she was lucid and could talk. I decided to drive up and say my goodbyes........My own life was in a mess, Sara and I were spinning about ever since the visit to the clinic. She had just shut me out,emotional betrayal,no hugs,no kisses absolutely no sex...going on four years,I was somewhat beyond depressed.....I had thought of ending my life but it was too precious a gift,but damn it wasnt any gift right now.........We sat on the bench infront of the labyrinth and I explained my mood.....said I thought we might still be able to work this thing out,somewhere in my heart I still carried a bit of hope...Sara sat there,cold,unflinching and unwilling..what ?.......She was difficult to reach at the best of times. I knew that there was something going on with Joe,ever since she had given him that session and he had sat there at dinner with a silly smirk on his face. When I came down in the mornings and she was at the computer,the page would change as I walked in....I would look at the tab at the bottom and notice she had a yahoo account,she was emailing him and did not want me to see....Well I did !!
      I told her that I was driving up to the lake to see Dot for the last time....she just looked at me and asked if I would see a psycologist..I said I was OK and we should talk about it when I came back........

   The drive up to the Lake is about three hours,and I was sad about Dot, she had battled cancer all year and it had won,the chemo had ravaged Dot beyond belief. I hoped that she would be able to give me some time so I could tell her what a beautiful woman she was and how she had influenced my life and how much respect I had for her......I pulled into Mystic Oaks and saw that the cancer had spread,the once pristine entry was in need of mowing,flowers were dry...I could tell Albert was loosing it...hell his beloved was leaving him...permanently.  I pulled in and parked,went to the door and walked in,I was expected.....I hugged Albert,and saw that the kids were there. Mick had flown in from Australia,Vicky had come from S. Carolina, and Linda had driven down from Columbia....they had all been crying. This was not going to be easy...I poured myself a drink from the kitchen table and felt the tears begin to well up in my own eyes and roll down my cheeks,we were loosing a grand matriarch....oh boy...I suddenly felt the sadness in the air.

She's feeling good...said Mick, you should go on in.............I took a big swallow and headed into the bedroom. Dot lay there, her bald head reflecting the soft light,her eyes open,looking at me......" well hello Ralphie...." said a voice broken with pain. My tears came faster now,as I felt the cocktail of love and sadness and the pain in my heart...I lay down next to her on the bed and looked at her. She smiled at me and I kissed her cheek. .....I love you Dot, I said, and carried on with my speech about how I felt...soon it was all heart,and more tears,she squeezed my hand and I stopped. I just felt the moment....it was like I was transported into some heavenly light and peaceful place,I held her hand in the silence for sometime and then realised she had drifted off into sleep. Ever so slowly I slipped off the bed and left the room.

  Albert and the gang were making food and so I joined in and soon we were sitting at the table eating. I saw Albert fighting off the pain,but every so often he just broke down sobbing and we held him,our own silent tears falling..this was family,this was hard...I forgot my own trouble.............I told Albert the moon was out and maybe we should mow the grass...to my suprise he agreed and we had a cup of coffee and went out and fired up the mowers,I rode on Dots mower and in the moonlight I followed Albert and we mowed.  I felt ancient in that moment,under the moon,like bringing in a harvest..Dot would be proud of how beautiful it would look in the morning.



to be continued............................................

The TRUTH will set you free..........
 Be the truth,for me there is nothing but the truth,everything else is contrived. We know where that leads us,look around,listen....what would you choose ? 

Rain clouds gathered and watered the thirsty land,and all the plants raised their heads in gratitude...the air was cleansed and a sense of calm prevailed.